Dearest readers, this time of January has always been the time of predictions for what will come to pass in the current year and even later on. There are stock market predictions, tech predictions, politics is super important again in the West so people busy themselves with that too- the list goes on. One thing that I'm starting to notice by talking to people, however, is a paradigm shift in first dates that's been sparked by technology; more precisely, the evolution of online dating. Today, I would like to connect this evolution to the rise of perfectly acceptable short first dates (both good and bad ones), and I am doing this because I think it is important and valuable for more and more people to get on board with it. Debatable as it still is, here it nevertheless comes- so join me for a trip down this particular lane.
The online dating world has evolved not only in size, scope and importance (in many urban areas it has become the number one way to meet someone new to date), but also in format. Over the years, we have witnessed a move from website-based format with lengthy profiles and tons of long messages back and forth, to a more streamlined and direct app format a la Tinder. This evolution happened not only because of the rise of location-based apps and more powerful phones, but also because online dating evolved from love's annoying waiting room to a quick location-based matchmaking and screening process that's like a safety check before people meet up in real life soon after. There are many reasons why people are abandoning long messaging time and meeting up faster; ultimately, what matters is that this is in fact a smart move, as nothing substitutes getting to know each other in person. The sooner, the better is the new online dating mantra (as it relates to meeting in person).
Now, you might wonder what this has to do with more and more people trying out quick first dates, as suggested by my clickbait title :P Well, everything is becoming faster- including the speed at which we consume and process data in order to make decisions. Also, our increasingly complex world makes us think about everything, including abstract things like love, romance and attraction in a more intelligent way. Finally, because we get to see in-your-face success on social media all the time, many of us load up on side-projects and don't have time to make decisions slowly. Guy or girl, if you have a busy schedule and know what you're looking for, you can figure out if the person sitting across from you fits those criteria or not fairly quickly. Now, having said that, if a date is going well you'll still need more than 15 minutes to decide if you want to have sex with your date, but the amount of time you spend making that decision seems to have gone down over the years due to pragmatism seeping into dating, for reasons explained above. However, it's the bad and no-match dates that have caught my attention. Remember the days when you met someone on a date and it's not a horrible, pepper spray or KMN type of date, but you simply don't feel the chemistry despite thinking you were going to feel something once you meet and get to know each other. So, one or both people feel this way, yet they continue this annoying, time-wasting, and totally excruciating charade for an hour or way longer out of some antiquated, misguided principles and it's painful to watch, let alone go through it. Yet, we've all done it and some people still do it. Well, there are more and more people who feel no guilt for getting up and leaving after 15 minutes (and doing it politely) if the sparks are not there. Girls used to do this more often, but I now hear more and more guys are doing it as well. Remember, though, that the trick is to do it and feel like it's the new normal- because it may soon become just that.
So, if you go on a date and the other person says hey, it's not working for me and you seem the same way, nice meeting you and good luck after like 15 minutes, ask yourself: Did she just waste your 15 minutes, or did she save you an hour or more? I guess it depends on whether the proverbial glass is half empty or half full, and how much that bothers you when there's plenty of cups out there... :)
Food for thought, dearest readers.
The online dating world has evolved not only in size, scope and importance (in many urban areas it has become the number one way to meet someone new to date), but also in format. Over the years, we have witnessed a move from website-based format with lengthy profiles and tons of long messages back and forth, to a more streamlined and direct app format a la Tinder. This evolution happened not only because of the rise of location-based apps and more powerful phones, but also because online dating evolved from love's annoying waiting room to a quick location-based matchmaking and screening process that's like a safety check before people meet up in real life soon after. There are many reasons why people are abandoning long messaging time and meeting up faster; ultimately, what matters is that this is in fact a smart move, as nothing substitutes getting to know each other in person. The sooner, the better is the new online dating mantra (as it relates to meeting in person).
Now, you might wonder what this has to do with more and more people trying out quick first dates, as suggested by my clickbait title :P Well, everything is becoming faster- including the speed at which we consume and process data in order to make decisions. Also, our increasingly complex world makes us think about everything, including abstract things like love, romance and attraction in a more intelligent way. Finally, because we get to see in-your-face success on social media all the time, many of us load up on side-projects and don't have time to make decisions slowly. Guy or girl, if you have a busy schedule and know what you're looking for, you can figure out if the person sitting across from you fits those criteria or not fairly quickly. Now, having said that, if a date is going well you'll still need more than 15 minutes to decide if you want to have sex with your date, but the amount of time you spend making that decision seems to have gone down over the years due to pragmatism seeping into dating, for reasons explained above. However, it's the bad and no-match dates that have caught my attention. Remember the days when you met someone on a date and it's not a horrible, pepper spray or KMN type of date, but you simply don't feel the chemistry despite thinking you were going to feel something once you meet and get to know each other. So, one or both people feel this way, yet they continue this annoying, time-wasting, and totally excruciating charade for an hour or way longer out of some antiquated, misguided principles and it's painful to watch, let alone go through it. Yet, we've all done it and some people still do it. Well, there are more and more people who feel no guilt for getting up and leaving after 15 minutes (and doing it politely) if the sparks are not there. Girls used to do this more often, but I now hear more and more guys are doing it as well. Remember, though, that the trick is to do it and feel like it's the new normal- because it may soon become just that.
So, if you go on a date and the other person says hey, it's not working for me and you seem the same way, nice meeting you and good luck after like 15 minutes, ask yourself: Did she just waste your 15 minutes, or did she save you an hour or more? I guess it depends on whether the proverbial glass is half empty or half full, and how much that bothers you when there's plenty of cups out there... :)
Food for thought, dearest readers.