Dearest readers, Happy Hump Day! Whether you are getting over a hump with a hump or not, it is that time of the week. For all of you planners out there, you may even have your weekend all planned out. However, have we really stopped to think about how finite time is as a resource? I used to think it was all about money- you can never get enough of it- but then the printers went brrrrrrrr. ;) Time is something you can also never get enough of, but you cannot really print more of it for yourself except ok you can live healthier and safer but then you still do not know how much longer you are getting. With that in mind, I came across a Swedish cultural norm that I really like that I would also like to share with you because it may change your life if you are not already doing it without knowing it. Naturally, this cultural norm may extend across all of Scandinavia and appear in other places too, but I found out about it through its Swedish version.
Now, to better understand it before sharing it, let us talk about human interaction. You want to be there for family, you want to make friends and spend time with them, and you want to maintain a healthy, mutually beneficial social network that can be there for you and vice versa. Fair enough. Yet, when you try to execute and make it happen, you end up giving up on it or avoiding it a lot. Why? It is simple. We live in a world where- between work, commute, constant learning and skills upgrade, and our duty to know things because we have Internet on our phones, we are hard pressed for time. Add to that a hobby or things like working out, yoga and beauty treatments for those who partake, and what are you left with? Very, very little time for sure. Then, you agree to catch up with a few friends on a Friday night and boom, before you know it, you overstayed at a bar, you overconsumed stuff, and your entire Saturday is shot to hell. No, it is not an age thing that your Saturday is short to hell- it is a time management and ultimately a culture thing.
So, what do they do in Sweden? Well, based on what I heard, even close friends and relatives schedule hangout time. If they are going partying, then you know the times of week and places to go to for that. If they want to catch up and talk, coffee and cake or a few drinks and food while having a great conversation are good enough. Now, not only do they agree on the nature of catching up, the when and the where, BUT ALSO how long! That last part is what I find really impressive.
In a place like Toronto area where I am at, there is a multitude of cultures trying to melt together, and many of them would find that agreeing upon the hangout length ahead of time somehow makes it artificial, shallow or that you do not care about the each other that much. However, if we agree that time is our most valuable and most finite resource, do you not think that being so appreciative and respectful of each others' time is a show of ultimate care and respect? I never thought about it until recently, and now I think it sure is! Seriously, it makes all the sense in the world. You get to spend less time with more people and make every hangout count.
Here is a little bonus for you. Apply this to dating. Let us say you are dating someone and you agree to hang out at your place on the evening of hump day haha. This implies what the hangout is about. Now, let us say you cannot risk being late to work the next day and you have an important presentation at a big meeting there. You set the hangout for 7pm-10pm, you get your partner to agree of their own free will if they want (if not, raincheck but you are not in the business of giving those out too many times haha), and then something magical happens. Your partner cannot put you through a four hour song and dance, have less than one hour of fun with you, then crash at your place and mess up your whole work and potentially your career's future the next day. Same thing goes if you are a student, or unemployed and actively job searching (or in between contracts). Whatever your life situation is at the present moment, if it is ok enough for you to actively date, you need to consider introducing this Swedish concept of hangout length into your everyday life and your love life. You may be already doing this with your hangout nights, but you may be feeling guilty about it or as if you are manipulating or bossing around your partner. As long as they are consenting, do not feel that way- you are doing a thing with your life and theirs that is a better thing, whether it feels that way or not.
Remember, many times more is not better- especially at the expense of other things or people important to you. Some may call it calculative (as if that is a slur), some may call it other bad names, but you may come to call it time well spent. :)
Now, to better understand it before sharing it, let us talk about human interaction. You want to be there for family, you want to make friends and spend time with them, and you want to maintain a healthy, mutually beneficial social network that can be there for you and vice versa. Fair enough. Yet, when you try to execute and make it happen, you end up giving up on it or avoiding it a lot. Why? It is simple. We live in a world where- between work, commute, constant learning and skills upgrade, and our duty to know things because we have Internet on our phones, we are hard pressed for time. Add to that a hobby or things like working out, yoga and beauty treatments for those who partake, and what are you left with? Very, very little time for sure. Then, you agree to catch up with a few friends on a Friday night and boom, before you know it, you overstayed at a bar, you overconsumed stuff, and your entire Saturday is shot to hell. No, it is not an age thing that your Saturday is short to hell- it is a time management and ultimately a culture thing.
So, what do they do in Sweden? Well, based on what I heard, even close friends and relatives schedule hangout time. If they are going partying, then you know the times of week and places to go to for that. If they want to catch up and talk, coffee and cake or a few drinks and food while having a great conversation are good enough. Now, not only do they agree on the nature of catching up, the when and the where, BUT ALSO how long! That last part is what I find really impressive.
In a place like Toronto area where I am at, there is a multitude of cultures trying to melt together, and many of them would find that agreeing upon the hangout length ahead of time somehow makes it artificial, shallow or that you do not care about the each other that much. However, if we agree that time is our most valuable and most finite resource, do you not think that being so appreciative and respectful of each others' time is a show of ultimate care and respect? I never thought about it until recently, and now I think it sure is! Seriously, it makes all the sense in the world. You get to spend less time with more people and make every hangout count.
Here is a little bonus for you. Apply this to dating. Let us say you are dating someone and you agree to hang out at your place on the evening of hump day haha. This implies what the hangout is about. Now, let us say you cannot risk being late to work the next day and you have an important presentation at a big meeting there. You set the hangout for 7pm-10pm, you get your partner to agree of their own free will if they want (if not, raincheck but you are not in the business of giving those out too many times haha), and then something magical happens. Your partner cannot put you through a four hour song and dance, have less than one hour of fun with you, then crash at your place and mess up your whole work and potentially your career's future the next day. Same thing goes if you are a student, or unemployed and actively job searching (or in between contracts). Whatever your life situation is at the present moment, if it is ok enough for you to actively date, you need to consider introducing this Swedish concept of hangout length into your everyday life and your love life. You may be already doing this with your hangout nights, but you may be feeling guilty about it or as if you are manipulating or bossing around your partner. As long as they are consenting, do not feel that way- you are doing a thing with your life and theirs that is a better thing, whether it feels that way or not.
Remember, many times more is not better- especially at the expense of other things or people important to you. Some may call it calculative (as if that is a slur), some may call it other bad names, but you may come to call it time well spent. :)