Dearest readers, it's time to address something that is most likely on many people's new year resolutions lists- network more. Truly, why wouldn't it be? Social media has brought us, over the last 10 years, more fake friends, total stranger friends and super stalkers than the previous 100 years combined. Making real connections, in my opinion, is making a serious comeback. When you think about it, though, why wouldn't it? Most people I know could confirm that the reliance on social media and lack of real networking has hindered growth in both their personal and professional lives. To me, there are two types of networking worth getting into- professional and romantic (flirting). So, let's start with a fun one.
I have heard of so many ways, theories and approaches when it comes to romantically connecting with other people, or even making really close friends. The one that stuck with me is the H.O.T. A.P.E. method, or Hot Ape, a playful acronym for the approach developed by a professional flirtation expert, a social anthropologist named Jean Smith. Here are the key points of her way- a result of research in multiple large cities around the world such as Stockholm and London.
So, in conclusion, please understand that the most important message of this system is that flirting is fun. Flirting is NOT the evaluation of your entire self-worth by another person. It is a fun activity where you use the above six things to connect with someone, make it up close and personal and hopefully romantic too. If all the signs are not there, you move on until they pop up with someone, and have fun doing it! :)
P.S. Don't try to figure out if someone likes you or not based just on social media typing and online dating chats, because an emoji of a smiley face with tongue sticking out will not get you very far ;)
I have heard of so many ways, theories and approaches when it comes to romantically connecting with other people, or even making really close friends. The one that stuck with me is the H.O.T. A.P.E. method, or Hot Ape, a playful acronym for the approach developed by a professional flirtation expert, a social anthropologist named Jean Smith. Here are the key points of her way- a result of research in multiple large cities around the world such as Stockholm and London.
- H stands for humor. Here, Jean mentions that a shared sense of humor is extremely important. Guys, if she's not laughing at your jokes, or you can tell she's faking it, move on. You're not trying to connect with everyone- this is used to connect with the right person for you.
- O stands for open body language. Uncross your arms, and see if the other person is keeping their arms uncrossed too. In addition, Jean says research show feet don't lie. If the other person's feet are pointing away from you, they're looking for an escape route. In that case, feel free to move on and look for another match.
- T stands for touch. Touch has to happen. If you forget to touch, you won't connect well or at all. Jean suggests you start with the shoulder, work down to the hand. Also, according to her, another good part of the body to lightly touch, especially when passing by or around, is the upper back right between shoulder blades.
- A stands for attention. The more attention they pay to you, the more they're into you. Now, in order to notice whether this is happening, Jean suggests you use participant observation. Go ahead and participate in the interaction, but don't get so into it you can't observe the reactions of the other person.
- P stands for proximity. If a guy or a girl moves to you from across the room, they're definitely interested. Also, a telltale sign is if they're standing closer than what's typical while they talk with you.
- E stands for eye contact. This is the final and very important point. Jean notes that when someone is interested in you, their eye contact is longer, more frequent and more intense.
So, in conclusion, please understand that the most important message of this system is that flirting is fun. Flirting is NOT the evaluation of your entire self-worth by another person. It is a fun activity where you use the above six things to connect with someone, make it up close and personal and hopefully romantic too. If all the signs are not there, you move on until they pop up with someone, and have fun doing it! :)
P.S. Don't try to figure out if someone likes you or not based just on social media typing and online dating chats, because an emoji of a smiley face with tongue sticking out will not get you very far ;)