Too bad their terminology is annoyingly wrong. Strap in, gentlemen :)
So, this friend of mine who normally enjoys sharing graphic details of sex with her fiance (not a fan of talking about that stuff) has made a pact with him not to have sex any more until their wedding night (tentatively scheduled a few months from now, considering the times we live in). When she messaged me to let me know about it, she was so proud because she said she decided to be celibate for the next couple of months. Now, I do not know why I was so direct (but you know me- I can be overly direct sometimes despite my best efforts to soften that up haha) but I just said that is quite a task but no you are not being celibate. When she asked me how come, I explained it to her very clearly. Celibacy is a vow by which you excise sexual activity out of your life forever, or at least you make a firm commitment to it and then work on transforming your life along those lines every single day by channeling your sexual energy towards something you see as a selfless, higher cause. What she was doing, I further explained, was abstaining from sex for a limited time period- kinda like when you abstain from alcohol or a certain food group in order to detox your system, or when you abstain from food for a few days in order to do fasting. What came after is a lot of pushback from her saying that this is a new trend and everyone is using that term. I would not budge though, and told her that I never see her as someone who would choose celibacy in her life because she likes sex a LOT and she said more than once that she wants kids. Still, she was stubborn about it. I could not care less about her stubborness.
Would you like to know why?
I have some qualms but no delusions over what I do professionally. As such, I have a progressive moral stance- I believe that you can strive to be as moral as possible in any situation or life circumstance, and that failing is part of trying. But, it bothers me when people take something like celibacy and on the one hand cheapening it while on the other hand trying to use the traditional power behind that word to raise their own value in the eyes of their peers. Abstinence does not sound nearly as grandiose or pure and it does not project as high of a value or as great of an inner strength, so hey let us call it something else that actually exists that is more amazing and hope that no one notices.
One final point on this silliness. I understand while people abstain from food or certain types of food. I understand why they abstain from drugs or alcohol because hey if someone had too much in too short of a time frame and needs to take it easy for a while, I get that too. However, short of a physical illness or injury, mental illness, or some sort of recent trauma, I see absolutely no point, utility or benefit in abstaining from sex.
What do you think? Do you have anyone in your life who suggested this or uses the word celibate instead of abstinent in order to raise their value?