Dearest readers, it's getting cold in most places here in North America. In Toronto area, it's crazy windy plus cold, and you never know what you'll have to end up wearing the next day. With that in mind and all the holiday season busy stuff, everyone I know (and everyone else) who's single is hitting up online dating apps a lot. You want to save time, you want a date for that Xmas party at work, or to ring in the New Year with someone. Or, you're looking ahead and don't want to be alone on Valentine's. In order to finally start having the best experience ever- especially with fast-paced apps like Tinder, you may want to fix the number one mistake almost everyone makes, causing their dating experience to really suck or stay in the mediocre zone. I'll go over what the mistake is, how to fix it, and what improvements you're going to see after :)
The major mistake I am referring to here is that people go into online dating without a clear game plan, thus failing to set the stage for an awesome dating experience. Let's take Tinder, for example. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you made a profile, swiped left and right on other profiles, matched up with people, talked a bit mostly about nonsense, and there you are meeting soon after. Excuse me for being frank, but that's a terrible, terrible approach. On top of that, people play it cool as in "I just want to meet, see how things go, and whatever happens- happens." Seriously, this could not get any worse. Girls, more so than guys, are guilty of this approach, but guys are too definitely.
The first step to fixing it is to be in touch with the premise of online dating and dating in general. Online dating is the same as any other dating- only faster, more efficient and convenient (plus, you don't end up at the local mall or Starbucks trolling for booty while the security guards who already know you by now crack jokes about you behind your back lol). Respect the benefits it offers. Second, you're here to get laid and date. Everyone wants to date, and everyone wants a relationship. People who say they want to keep it casual are lying, or just wasting everyone's time including theirs because they won't admit they're not ready. If you're not ready to date, don't do it, online or offline- period. If someone tells you they just want to take it one step at a time, move on- or message again in a few weeks (set a Google Calendar reminder haha). Also, while you don't have to keep spelling it out for yourself and the other person that it's a date, make sure there's an implicit understanding that you two are meeting to qualify each other for sex and dating. It never ceases to amaze me how some people out there are not in touch with this and keep going out on dates. You have to understand that if you cannot even remotely imagine you two all over each other, don't even go out on a date.
The second step is to ask all of the questions you need to in order to see if they are compatible with you. People leave this for the first date or as far as a few months into dating, and this is downright ludicrous. Don't even leave your place unless you communicated to each other who you are, what you're about, and what your most important things are in life. Oh, and if beyond that you feel you have nothing else to talk about on the first date, again don't even go meet the person. Usually the feeling of running out of things to talk about is your subconscious telling you that she will not find your life stories interesting, and/or vice versa. Listen to yourself and react properly.
The third step is to not put the first date up on a pedestal. If you did the previous steps right, you should understand by now you are meeting a girl who is really into meeting you, not a few beers, dinner and a movie or whatever else you'll foot a bill for. It's about two people getting matched up to each other really well, and this is what matters the most.
The outcome of all this, dearest readers, is that you'll date better. You'll become pickier, you'll say no to more people, but those people who you end up choosing will be that much more perfect for you. If you haven't done things this way yet, give it a try. If you have, let this be a reaffirmation to you that you're doing things right and should continue the same way :)
The major mistake I am referring to here is that people go into online dating without a clear game plan, thus failing to set the stage for an awesome dating experience. Let's take Tinder, for example. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you made a profile, swiped left and right on other profiles, matched up with people, talked a bit mostly about nonsense, and there you are meeting soon after. Excuse me for being frank, but that's a terrible, terrible approach. On top of that, people play it cool as in "I just want to meet, see how things go, and whatever happens- happens." Seriously, this could not get any worse. Girls, more so than guys, are guilty of this approach, but guys are too definitely.
The first step to fixing it is to be in touch with the premise of online dating and dating in general. Online dating is the same as any other dating- only faster, more efficient and convenient (plus, you don't end up at the local mall or Starbucks trolling for booty while the security guards who already know you by now crack jokes about you behind your back lol). Respect the benefits it offers. Second, you're here to get laid and date. Everyone wants to date, and everyone wants a relationship. People who say they want to keep it casual are lying, or just wasting everyone's time including theirs because they won't admit they're not ready. If you're not ready to date, don't do it, online or offline- period. If someone tells you they just want to take it one step at a time, move on- or message again in a few weeks (set a Google Calendar reminder haha). Also, while you don't have to keep spelling it out for yourself and the other person that it's a date, make sure there's an implicit understanding that you two are meeting to qualify each other for sex and dating. It never ceases to amaze me how some people out there are not in touch with this and keep going out on dates. You have to understand that if you cannot even remotely imagine you two all over each other, don't even go out on a date.
The second step is to ask all of the questions you need to in order to see if they are compatible with you. People leave this for the first date or as far as a few months into dating, and this is downright ludicrous. Don't even leave your place unless you communicated to each other who you are, what you're about, and what your most important things are in life. Oh, and if beyond that you feel you have nothing else to talk about on the first date, again don't even go meet the person. Usually the feeling of running out of things to talk about is your subconscious telling you that she will not find your life stories interesting, and/or vice versa. Listen to yourself and react properly.
The third step is to not put the first date up on a pedestal. If you did the previous steps right, you should understand by now you are meeting a girl who is really into meeting you, not a few beers, dinner and a movie or whatever else you'll foot a bill for. It's about two people getting matched up to each other really well, and this is what matters the most.
The outcome of all this, dearest readers, is that you'll date better. You'll become pickier, you'll say no to more people, but those people who you end up choosing will be that much more perfect for you. If you haven't done things this way yet, give it a try. If you have, let this be a reaffirmation to you that you're doing things right and should continue the same way :)