The sum of parts refers to observable pieces of a creature or a machine that make up the whole. With us humans, we have many physical traits that, put together, create who we are physically. We also have minds and a host of psychological and behavioral components that make up how we are in terms of how we interpret the objective reality and how we reflect that interpretation back to it and to other people. When you're making new friends, business partners or you're out on a date, you talk the most about how you are, either directly by expressing your perspective on things or simply by picking certain topics over others. What's interesting, however, is that as you tell the story of how you are as a person to yourself and others, you begin to want to make it a permanent thing, to declare that all chapters have been written and that's it. Come on, we've all been there.
- "I'm not a morning person and that's final."
- "I only date tall guys and that's what I prefer."
- " I can never see myself working in sales."
Now, why not just stick to your guns and be original, genuine, true to yourself? You are who you are- period. Well, which self? The self that wanted to become a fireman when you were 8? The self that was totally into Lady Gaga before developing a taste for smooth jazz, years later? The self that was pre-diabetic in late teens but was cured but adhering to keto diet, which in now the basis of your health? The list of randomly generated yet probably real life examples goes on.
Therefore, sticking to your guns is not only unrealistic and disingenuous (had to look this one up haha) in terms of the human condition, but it is also damaging. When every fiber of your being starts telling you to abandon an old perspective, habit, preference or way of thinking and you keep on resisting it, you are agonizing and spending precious time and resources sticking with something that is no longer you.
Remember, we as a species have evolved to seek out survival and continuation at any and all cost. We've been chased by everything from saber tooth tigers to telemarketers. We've survived the tail end of an ice age, volcano eruptions, climate changes, and things we caused to ourselves like wars. If your subconscious self starts sending you signals to change something about you as a person that you erroneously think is set in stone, you may want to start asking yourself how that's connected to those primordial survive and thrive instincts and take it seriously.
Give it a shot, you may be surprised at how much more time you spend being happier and what new doors open for you. :)