Dearest readers, they say money is not everything- yet naturally we strive to act and feel different. Or, is it natural? We live in a world where, despite all the money printing making money seem infinite, the amount most of us will earn in life is finite and limited. Yet, dating and relationships, especially on the side of genetic girls (had to make the distinction haha), has become all about the money. Now yes, I understand the line of work I am in. Time spent with me also involves a... transaction. However, it is a fairly proportional one. In relationships, nothing is proportional any more. From what I keep hearing from guy friends, their girls demand a supply but often fail to supply the demand. Wow, that is one powerful sentence worthy of an entire Amazon bestseller haha! This, dearest readers, is one of the main reasons Tinder is losing market capitalization and OnlyFans is swelling up with money! Now, do I like it? No. There are certain industries that profit from the dumpster fire that dating is in 2024, but for me that is right up there with war profiteering. I like healthy societies and have always believed that my line of work will be fine even if the dating scene improves significantly. With that in mind, I think we need to immediately get people with the power to influence culture to decentralize the value proposition regarding guys away from money and closer with the natural state of in which humans have existed for a long time.
Now how did I get the idea for this topic? Well, we have some family friends whose parents were born and grew up under Communism (not Chinese or Soviet or Cuban, ouuu that narrows it down for you history buffs out there). One time they were talking to my parents how they think the hyperfocus on money as the measure of a person's value, especially men's, is the one feature of capitalism that can completely destroy dating, relationships, marriages, birth rates and eventually the country itself. Now mind you, these folks are not political- they are equal opportunity critics though. So yes, we were talking about this over tea and I asked them well what else, in their opinion, should determine the value of say a guy to a girl in modern society like here in Canada. They said look, when we were growing up under Communism lite (haha), you pretty much knew you were not going to be rich. Even specialist doctors, surgeons, lawyers, and state owned company directors did not get salaries anywhere near their Western counterparts. Sure, you could stay in one company forever and get an apartment through it, vacations, lines of credit, but everything was...mid. The only way to make tons of money was through bribes and misappropriation of public funds and resources on the one end, or being a farmer or a trades or hospitality person and self-employed on the other end (those were still allowed in their country of origin). In such a situation, they say, women developed differently. You could rarely find a guy who had it all. Either you would find yourself a rich mechanic but he would be unrefined, or a refined well educated doctor who made less money than a successful mechanic. When you cannot have it all, social mobility is limited, and almost everyone is stuck in the middle, girls started to develop decentralized tastes- away from money.
I was fascinated by this, so I asked them how that worked in practice. The old couple chuckled and went on to answer my question. Some girls hyper focused on tall, fit tough guys who were usually in trades, sports or military and they would accept their lot in life as long as they got- you guessed it- a tall strong and tough guy. Other girls developed attraction towards intellect- they got excited by extremely smart, dedicated professionals and scholars. From teachers to professors to lawyers to doctors and finally scientists, they wanted to get themselves a piece of that. Then, there were girls who were attracted to guys who had practical skills- the ability to build something, fix it themselves, create valuable things out of materials, and dedicate themselves to honing their craft. Finally, there were girls who only cared about money and were willing to take any guy as long as he had piles of it- a corrupt politician, a rare private business owner, or a person who worked abroad and saved tons of cash.
I could not believe this, given the world we are in today- a world that revolves purely around money so much. I asked them how this was possible. They told me that they think about it lots, seeing what us young people are going through today, and they narrowed it down to a few things. Today, they think most of us believe so hard we will make it that we do not fear poverty and destitution enough; they believe we are toxically optimistic and toxically trusting. This also creates an environment where there is lots of indecisiveness and a lack of clarity on what you want and who you want in life- urgency is non-existent. Next, they believe that people's happiness today relies too much on consumption of goods versus experiences. Both cost money, but the love, closeness and excitement a couple feels from going somewhere together versus shopping separately seems to be able to keep them together longer even on a tighter budget. Finally, whether you had lots of money or not, people picked each other based on other status and value symbols and still had an entire ecosystem to enjoy. Regardless of who you were and how much you made, you protected each other from poverty and destitution, you often had families and circles of friends for hangouts, adventures, moral support and real actual help... you got an entire world to explore. Finally, along with truly believing there are other qualities and status symbols than money alone, people were also trained if not for marriage, then at least for relationships and for providing value not just at a workplace but outside it as well. As an example, they pointed out my ability to cook and my knowledge of proper nutrition. When you do not know anything and have no money saving skills, of course you look for a rich partner when you cannot conceptualize any other other way of getting things done except with money! They believe people, especially girls these days, are simply afraid to pick someone for reasons other than money because they are afraid of their own lack of value added skills, as well as the same lack in some of the guys they meet (to be fair). In fact, this fear can rise to the level of existential crisis as soon as people leave their home and live on their own, especially in times like these. They used the expression of making a silk purse out of a sow's ear (had to look it up haha), and the value of it. Bottom line, someone can make less money but still have more left over due to a variety of skills and abilities- sweet! :)
I am still processing this piece of wisdom from a supposedly bygone era and wondering if newer is not always necessarily better. Wii U was newer than Wii, yet it looks like more people had better fun with the Wii haha! Overall, I would say that when everyone starts putting their eggs in the same basket, it creates a bubble; the basket handle eventually breaks, aka the bubble bursts. Maybe those who look in a different direction early on end up doing better. Maybe we should seek out our rewards that way not because it is easy, but because it is hard; that is how you end up with things worth having.
Now how did I get the idea for this topic? Well, we have some family friends whose parents were born and grew up under Communism (not Chinese or Soviet or Cuban, ouuu that narrows it down for you history buffs out there). One time they were talking to my parents how they think the hyperfocus on money as the measure of a person's value, especially men's, is the one feature of capitalism that can completely destroy dating, relationships, marriages, birth rates and eventually the country itself. Now mind you, these folks are not political- they are equal opportunity critics though. So yes, we were talking about this over tea and I asked them well what else, in their opinion, should determine the value of say a guy to a girl in modern society like here in Canada. They said look, when we were growing up under Communism lite (haha), you pretty much knew you were not going to be rich. Even specialist doctors, surgeons, lawyers, and state owned company directors did not get salaries anywhere near their Western counterparts. Sure, you could stay in one company forever and get an apartment through it, vacations, lines of credit, but everything was...mid. The only way to make tons of money was through bribes and misappropriation of public funds and resources on the one end, or being a farmer or a trades or hospitality person and self-employed on the other end (those were still allowed in their country of origin). In such a situation, they say, women developed differently. You could rarely find a guy who had it all. Either you would find yourself a rich mechanic but he would be unrefined, or a refined well educated doctor who made less money than a successful mechanic. When you cannot have it all, social mobility is limited, and almost everyone is stuck in the middle, girls started to develop decentralized tastes- away from money.
I was fascinated by this, so I asked them how that worked in practice. The old couple chuckled and went on to answer my question. Some girls hyper focused on tall, fit tough guys who were usually in trades, sports or military and they would accept their lot in life as long as they got- you guessed it- a tall strong and tough guy. Other girls developed attraction towards intellect- they got excited by extremely smart, dedicated professionals and scholars. From teachers to professors to lawyers to doctors and finally scientists, they wanted to get themselves a piece of that. Then, there were girls who were attracted to guys who had practical skills- the ability to build something, fix it themselves, create valuable things out of materials, and dedicate themselves to honing their craft. Finally, there were girls who only cared about money and were willing to take any guy as long as he had piles of it- a corrupt politician, a rare private business owner, or a person who worked abroad and saved tons of cash.
I could not believe this, given the world we are in today- a world that revolves purely around money so much. I asked them how this was possible. They told me that they think about it lots, seeing what us young people are going through today, and they narrowed it down to a few things. Today, they think most of us believe so hard we will make it that we do not fear poverty and destitution enough; they believe we are toxically optimistic and toxically trusting. This also creates an environment where there is lots of indecisiveness and a lack of clarity on what you want and who you want in life- urgency is non-existent. Next, they believe that people's happiness today relies too much on consumption of goods versus experiences. Both cost money, but the love, closeness and excitement a couple feels from going somewhere together versus shopping separately seems to be able to keep them together longer even on a tighter budget. Finally, whether you had lots of money or not, people picked each other based on other status and value symbols and still had an entire ecosystem to enjoy. Regardless of who you were and how much you made, you protected each other from poverty and destitution, you often had families and circles of friends for hangouts, adventures, moral support and real actual help... you got an entire world to explore. Finally, along with truly believing there are other qualities and status symbols than money alone, people were also trained if not for marriage, then at least for relationships and for providing value not just at a workplace but outside it as well. As an example, they pointed out my ability to cook and my knowledge of proper nutrition. When you do not know anything and have no money saving skills, of course you look for a rich partner when you cannot conceptualize any other other way of getting things done except with money! They believe people, especially girls these days, are simply afraid to pick someone for reasons other than money because they are afraid of their own lack of value added skills, as well as the same lack in some of the guys they meet (to be fair). In fact, this fear can rise to the level of existential crisis as soon as people leave their home and live on their own, especially in times like these. They used the expression of making a silk purse out of a sow's ear (had to look it up haha), and the value of it. Bottom line, someone can make less money but still have more left over due to a variety of skills and abilities- sweet! :)
I am still processing this piece of wisdom from a supposedly bygone era and wondering if newer is not always necessarily better. Wii U was newer than Wii, yet it looks like more people had better fun with the Wii haha! Overall, I would say that when everyone starts putting their eggs in the same basket, it creates a bubble; the basket handle eventually breaks, aka the bubble bursts. Maybe those who look in a different direction early on end up doing better. Maybe we should seek out our rewards that way not because it is easy, but because it is hard; that is how you end up with things worth having.