Dearest readers, spring is in the air and the urge to date (or hook up on the regular?) is in the air, moving towards its annual peak. Nothing wrong with that...right? Hmm, not quite. I have recently seen a documentary on how dating apps, especially the swipe-based ones like Tinder are affecting all generations of people in the dating pool- especially the younger ones. The effect is so overwhelming, in fact, that traditional dating is slowly going away- especially in cities and densely populated areas. So, what's going on here? Is dating really such a bad thing? I spent some time talking to friends from all walks of life who understand this entire issue related to apps, big data, modern dating and so on, and I realized something important. The entire Cambridge Analytica and Facebook actually sheds a lot of light on what technology is doing to all human interactions and the fabric of society, including dating.
So, what exactly is technology doing to us pairing up, and is it good or bad? Let's explore.
The Cambridge Analytica and Facebook scandal is about peoples' private data being used in ways to which they didn't consent. Beyond that, however, it was an increasingly standardized practice in the tech and big data sphere where companies take a data source (e.g. Facebook), an analysis tool such as an algorithm designed to look for certain connections between data points from said data source, and then output results that you can use for your business in a meaningful, effective way (e.g. a report laying out the best target market for a marketing campaign, or how to optimize performance of entire departments in a company etc.). This method is increasingly favored by companies of all sizes across most sectors as it often takes personal bias, human error and other such issues out of the process and also happens to be a lot faster and requires less actual manpower. Sounds like a money saver and something that gives companies a competitive edge, doesn't it?
But what about us, the individuals?
Well, as it turns out, we have been doing this exact same thing on a daily since the moment we were born! Each and every one of us! Oh, and we tend to do it more and more as we get older. Dearest readers, it's pretty simple. We have "profiles" of what we want and how we want it- from how we want to live our lives to who we want to be with, to what we want to wear this summer. We have profiles of all these things, we collect data from the outside world, and make choices in the outside world based on the data that matches up with what we want and how we want it. So, we go through the exact same process that companies do. Yet, companies are the ones that are rushing to utilize technology that will make this process faster, cheaper and more effective for them. In doing so, they admit that without trying to use technology in this way, they won't do nearly as good of a job as with technology at their disposal, and that's unacceptable to them. Well, maybe they have a point. As individuals, maybe we should also value our time and resources a lot more than we currently do, and constantly seek new ways to get more of both.
Now, how does Tinder- or rather its dating app model- fit into all of this?
Tinder is also an algorithm that has all of its users' data to work with. It takes all that data, runs it against individual users' preferences, and outputs possible matches for people to swipe left or right. Currently, I think the technology is still in its infancy. I feel it gets very little data on each individual user, and a lot of that data is embellished and consequently lower quality. Furthermore, it asks users to set way too few criteria on what sort of person they are looking for. These issues, as well as fears over users' data not staying private and safe, contribute to a major slowdown of the development of Tinder's algorithm(s). Until these issues are resolved, Tinder will be nothing more but a wingman of average IQ who just had four shots haha. However, once these issues are resolved, it could become a platform that eliminates the need for a first date, and maybe even a second one. Once it becomes advanced enough, it'll be more effective than we are at doing first and second date level of information gathering and decision making, to the point where people can either jump in and have sex while feeling confident they're doing it with someone who's "match enough" for the purpose of dating, or they'll have at least one quick coffee date to confirm that Tinder has done a great first and second leg work, and then jump in bed right after. If this seems weird now, it'll seem less so as it inevitably becomes a part of our society, just as similar approaches become the mainstay in the business world.
But what of the charms of the dating process?
Most of us like to say we like romance, and most of us say we enjoy the banter and chase involved in first and second dates. However, I don't think most of us really feel this way. No matter how we look at it, romanticizing what is essentially a very stressful data collection process makes less and less sense, now that we know it by this other, tech-inspired name. Besides, all around us we see other things people have romanticized that eventually became either partially rejected or obsolete. For example, the joy of hand writing a letter has, in most cases, been replaced by email. Most of us have rejected that personal touch of a hand-written letter, even though it has been romanticized quite a bit. Another example is how scenic train trips have been romanticized, yet most of us have rejected them in favor of plane travel- even when you can reach the same destination by train. Keep thinking, and you'll see countless more examples of something that has been romanticized and is not partially rejected or fully obsolete.
So, what's the takeaway here?
The takeaway, dearest readers, is whatever you want it to be. My takeaway, however, is a new rule. As soon as something that is currently the norm becomes threatened by a disruptive new way of doing it that threatens to make it partially rejected of fully obsolete, the old way becomes increasingly romanticized. Romanticizing something serves as a defense mechanism to keep it around a little longer until the new way is further developed and perfected, and is ready to use. In case of dating, just as with anything else, there was a time in the past when it didn't exist, a time right now when it does, a time in the future where it won't exist yet again, and so on. What matters, of course, is how you feel about it and how much you think it should affect your lives. As for me, I'm not a Luddite, but I'm also not blindly in love with tech and the power of algorithms as applied to big data. Having said that, I keep following what's going on and remain cautiously optimistic. :)
So, what exactly is technology doing to us pairing up, and is it good or bad? Let's explore.
The Cambridge Analytica and Facebook scandal is about peoples' private data being used in ways to which they didn't consent. Beyond that, however, it was an increasingly standardized practice in the tech and big data sphere where companies take a data source (e.g. Facebook), an analysis tool such as an algorithm designed to look for certain connections between data points from said data source, and then output results that you can use for your business in a meaningful, effective way (e.g. a report laying out the best target market for a marketing campaign, or how to optimize performance of entire departments in a company etc.). This method is increasingly favored by companies of all sizes across most sectors as it often takes personal bias, human error and other such issues out of the process and also happens to be a lot faster and requires less actual manpower. Sounds like a money saver and something that gives companies a competitive edge, doesn't it?
But what about us, the individuals?
Well, as it turns out, we have been doing this exact same thing on a daily since the moment we were born! Each and every one of us! Oh, and we tend to do it more and more as we get older. Dearest readers, it's pretty simple. We have "profiles" of what we want and how we want it- from how we want to live our lives to who we want to be with, to what we want to wear this summer. We have profiles of all these things, we collect data from the outside world, and make choices in the outside world based on the data that matches up with what we want and how we want it. So, we go through the exact same process that companies do. Yet, companies are the ones that are rushing to utilize technology that will make this process faster, cheaper and more effective for them. In doing so, they admit that without trying to use technology in this way, they won't do nearly as good of a job as with technology at their disposal, and that's unacceptable to them. Well, maybe they have a point. As individuals, maybe we should also value our time and resources a lot more than we currently do, and constantly seek new ways to get more of both.
Now, how does Tinder- or rather its dating app model- fit into all of this?
Tinder is also an algorithm that has all of its users' data to work with. It takes all that data, runs it against individual users' preferences, and outputs possible matches for people to swipe left or right. Currently, I think the technology is still in its infancy. I feel it gets very little data on each individual user, and a lot of that data is embellished and consequently lower quality. Furthermore, it asks users to set way too few criteria on what sort of person they are looking for. These issues, as well as fears over users' data not staying private and safe, contribute to a major slowdown of the development of Tinder's algorithm(s). Until these issues are resolved, Tinder will be nothing more but a wingman of average IQ who just had four shots haha. However, once these issues are resolved, it could become a platform that eliminates the need for a first date, and maybe even a second one. Once it becomes advanced enough, it'll be more effective than we are at doing first and second date level of information gathering and decision making, to the point where people can either jump in and have sex while feeling confident they're doing it with someone who's "match enough" for the purpose of dating, or they'll have at least one quick coffee date to confirm that Tinder has done a great first and second leg work, and then jump in bed right after. If this seems weird now, it'll seem less so as it inevitably becomes a part of our society, just as similar approaches become the mainstay in the business world.
But what of the charms of the dating process?
Most of us like to say we like romance, and most of us say we enjoy the banter and chase involved in first and second dates. However, I don't think most of us really feel this way. No matter how we look at it, romanticizing what is essentially a very stressful data collection process makes less and less sense, now that we know it by this other, tech-inspired name. Besides, all around us we see other things people have romanticized that eventually became either partially rejected or obsolete. For example, the joy of hand writing a letter has, in most cases, been replaced by email. Most of us have rejected that personal touch of a hand-written letter, even though it has been romanticized quite a bit. Another example is how scenic train trips have been romanticized, yet most of us have rejected them in favor of plane travel- even when you can reach the same destination by train. Keep thinking, and you'll see countless more examples of something that has been romanticized and is not partially rejected or fully obsolete.
So, what's the takeaway here?
The takeaway, dearest readers, is whatever you want it to be. My takeaway, however, is a new rule. As soon as something that is currently the norm becomes threatened by a disruptive new way of doing it that threatens to make it partially rejected of fully obsolete, the old way becomes increasingly romanticized. Romanticizing something serves as a defense mechanism to keep it around a little longer until the new way is further developed and perfected, and is ready to use. In case of dating, just as with anything else, there was a time in the past when it didn't exist, a time right now when it does, a time in the future where it won't exist yet again, and so on. What matters, of course, is how you feel about it and how much you think it should affect your lives. As for me, I'm not a Luddite, but I'm also not blindly in love with tech and the power of algorithms as applied to big data. Having said that, I keep following what's going on and remain cautiously optimistic. :)