Dearest readers, I am not a jealous, possessive person. I am sure many of my competitors out there poo poo on dating and relationships and say you should just book appointments with them instead. That, dearest readers, is mean, selfish and ultimately destructive. Personally, I not only believe but also know that there is space in a life for both dating and booking appointments (sometimes at the same time haha). So, having said that, I would like to offer some assistance to my gentlemen readers out there by sharing with you and explaining my golden rule for dating and relationships that might help you quite a lot (unless you are using it already in which case good for you).
My golden rule is as follows: Never do for your s/o what you would not do for your family. Boom! Powerful, is it not? :) In a relationship, both sides test the limits of what they can get away with asking the other person to do for them. However, I have to admit that girls do this in a more planned, strategic, programmatic way. Gentlemen, most of you know this as well, or are about to find out the next time you date someone. it always goes the same way. You want to leave a good impression, make the other person like you, and you sort of lose track of the extent to which you are doing this financially, emotionally and so on. The problem is, there is a fine line between people appreciating this, only to eventually turn appreciation into a total abuse of your good nature. This, dearest gentlemen, is what my golden rule almost completely eliminates.
Why is family a good benchmark? As long as you have a good family, whether you were adopted or you are bound to them by blood, they are extremely important to you, more than anyone else. Now, imagine meeting someone, catching feelings for them and wanting to express that by buying them dinners, taking them on all expense paid vacations or long weekend getaways, buying them jewelry... Sweet, very sweet of you, you are so amazing. However, do you do the same for your family, your flesh and blood? Have you ever done anything like that for them? If you have paid for your sibling to go on a vacation for you, or bought a nice necklace or ring for your mom, a new camera for your dad or other such examples, then sure it makes sense that you would do this for your significant other. However, if you never felt the need or desire to go all out like that for your closest family, you should not do it for someone who is basically a stranger either.
Yes, I know that many of you out there may consider this golden rule as difficult to follow in 2021. "But Miss Z", the girl will call me cheap, say I am not a real man, or never even give me a real chance..." This, dearest gentlemen, is precisely my point. It will quickly push away the kind of partners that you really do not want in your life. Or, they will see you as a higher value individual which is even better for you.
Now, you might wonder how on Earth would this make you look like a higher value person? Simple. You have no idea, whatsoever, how much power you give to a person who is new in your life when you treat them better than your own family without them having to prove themselves to you over a longer period of time! No one should have that much power over you in your life, if you can help it.
Dating in 2021 and going forward is going to be more difficult because tough times put pressure on all human relationships, including romantic ones. Instead of being a leaf in the wind in this brave new dating world, however, give the golden rule a try, make it your shield as you hold the line. In the meantime, there's always appointment booking ;)
My golden rule is as follows: Never do for your s/o what you would not do for your family. Boom! Powerful, is it not? :) In a relationship, both sides test the limits of what they can get away with asking the other person to do for them. However, I have to admit that girls do this in a more planned, strategic, programmatic way. Gentlemen, most of you know this as well, or are about to find out the next time you date someone. it always goes the same way. You want to leave a good impression, make the other person like you, and you sort of lose track of the extent to which you are doing this financially, emotionally and so on. The problem is, there is a fine line between people appreciating this, only to eventually turn appreciation into a total abuse of your good nature. This, dearest gentlemen, is what my golden rule almost completely eliminates.
Why is family a good benchmark? As long as you have a good family, whether you were adopted or you are bound to them by blood, they are extremely important to you, more than anyone else. Now, imagine meeting someone, catching feelings for them and wanting to express that by buying them dinners, taking them on all expense paid vacations or long weekend getaways, buying them jewelry... Sweet, very sweet of you, you are so amazing. However, do you do the same for your family, your flesh and blood? Have you ever done anything like that for them? If you have paid for your sibling to go on a vacation for you, or bought a nice necklace or ring for your mom, a new camera for your dad or other such examples, then sure it makes sense that you would do this for your significant other. However, if you never felt the need or desire to go all out like that for your closest family, you should not do it for someone who is basically a stranger either.
Yes, I know that many of you out there may consider this golden rule as difficult to follow in 2021. "But Miss Z", the girl will call me cheap, say I am not a real man, or never even give me a real chance..." This, dearest gentlemen, is precisely my point. It will quickly push away the kind of partners that you really do not want in your life. Or, they will see you as a higher value individual which is even better for you.
Now, you might wonder how on Earth would this make you look like a higher value person? Simple. You have no idea, whatsoever, how much power you give to a person who is new in your life when you treat them better than your own family without them having to prove themselves to you over a longer period of time! No one should have that much power over you in your life, if you can help it.
Dating in 2021 and going forward is going to be more difficult because tough times put pressure on all human relationships, including romantic ones. Instead of being a leaf in the wind in this brave new dating world, however, give the golden rule a try, make it your shield as you hold the line. In the meantime, there's always appointment booking ;)