Dearest gentlemen, this one's for you. It's 2018 and I think that means a lot these days. In particular, the societies here in the West have adopted, more than ever, certain approaches to life. We are much more into risk management and accurate forecasting. Speculation on different things is abuzz on social media and in the news. Traditional values, knowledge and wisdom are being challenged all the time, and the speed at which our interactions with the world change is unbelievable. That said, how do these and other things affect dating, and especially first dates? What has or will soon become the norm? Let's take a look :)
Rule number one is the One Week Rule. Since most people date partially or exclusively online, it has become mainstream. Also, with apps like Tinder, it has become lightning fast. This especially applies to the time window between the first messages online and the first date offline. A girl who expects to message with you for three weeks in this day and age because she's not sure about this online thing and wants to "get to know you really well first before meeting in real life" is just as much of an anomaly as a girl who doesn't do bj's ever. Do yourself a favour and set a one week rule as a great starting point. Convey directly or indirectly to the girl that a first date has to happen within a week of first messages exchanged, or else the whole things loses momentum and fizzles out. You know this to be true, the girl knows this to be true, so let's stop pretending like it's not and insist on a reasonable first message to first date time frame for the sake of everyone involved.
Rule number two is to eliminate the first date trap. Sometimes, people misrepresent themselves online or just simply misjudge each other. After doing one of those two, people meet for a first date and when they see within 15 minutes that there's no chemistry, they still keep the date going because one or both feel too awkward to end it right then and there. That's a first date trap that you have the power of ending. If you meet a girl and you see within 15 minutes or half hour or whatever time frame you deem sufficient that she's not into you, end it. We all know what the intentions are behind the first date. If there is no chemistry to make those intentions happen, don't drag it out. Yes, it's awkward because most of us are not accustomed to this. However, there was a time, long time ago, when you weren't accustomed to approaching women in the first place, yet eventually you got used to it. There you go. :)
Rule number three is related to rule number two, and that is to keep it simple. If you know you may leave after half hour or less if there's no chemistry, do not do dinner and a movie or anything else elaborate and time-consuming on a first date. Do a coffee, coffee and cake, bubble tea, drinks or gourmet street food date- or something similar. If there's chemistry, remember a woman has needs too and she'll make out with you even if you invited her just for coffee. You can take her somewhere special for the second date, and she knows that too unless she is too clueless or too opportunistic.
Rule number four is also related to rule number two, and that is to do your first date on a week night, not Friday night or the weekend. If a girl really wants to date, she makes sure she is not too busy to do it, and this is what you should expect too. A girl who wants to date will always carve out some week night and weekend time for potential or actual romance. So, don't bother with a girl who says she can't go out with you on a weeknight. What do you think will happen if you start dating her? A lot of nothing, most likely. Remember, weekends are sacred. You use them to catch up with valuable family, friends, connections. You also use them to finish your projects, errands or do a side gig for extra money. As such, someone you barely know should not be allowed even a second of that time. Make it weeknight coffee, tea, drinks or a small snack and thank your lucky stars you didn't risk your precious Saturday night on a lord-knows-what-will-happen first date.
So there we go, gentlemen- a few rules that may or may not be familiar to you- rules that are a response to the rapidly evolving world around us. Hope it helps :)
Rule number one is the One Week Rule. Since most people date partially or exclusively online, it has become mainstream. Also, with apps like Tinder, it has become lightning fast. This especially applies to the time window between the first messages online and the first date offline. A girl who expects to message with you for three weeks in this day and age because she's not sure about this online thing and wants to "get to know you really well first before meeting in real life" is just as much of an anomaly as a girl who doesn't do bj's ever. Do yourself a favour and set a one week rule as a great starting point. Convey directly or indirectly to the girl that a first date has to happen within a week of first messages exchanged, or else the whole things loses momentum and fizzles out. You know this to be true, the girl knows this to be true, so let's stop pretending like it's not and insist on a reasonable first message to first date time frame for the sake of everyone involved.
Rule number two is to eliminate the first date trap. Sometimes, people misrepresent themselves online or just simply misjudge each other. After doing one of those two, people meet for a first date and when they see within 15 minutes that there's no chemistry, they still keep the date going because one or both feel too awkward to end it right then and there. That's a first date trap that you have the power of ending. If you meet a girl and you see within 15 minutes or half hour or whatever time frame you deem sufficient that she's not into you, end it. We all know what the intentions are behind the first date. If there is no chemistry to make those intentions happen, don't drag it out. Yes, it's awkward because most of us are not accustomed to this. However, there was a time, long time ago, when you weren't accustomed to approaching women in the first place, yet eventually you got used to it. There you go. :)
Rule number three is related to rule number two, and that is to keep it simple. If you know you may leave after half hour or less if there's no chemistry, do not do dinner and a movie or anything else elaborate and time-consuming on a first date. Do a coffee, coffee and cake, bubble tea, drinks or gourmet street food date- or something similar. If there's chemistry, remember a woman has needs too and she'll make out with you even if you invited her just for coffee. You can take her somewhere special for the second date, and she knows that too unless she is too clueless or too opportunistic.
Rule number four is also related to rule number two, and that is to do your first date on a week night, not Friday night or the weekend. If a girl really wants to date, she makes sure she is not too busy to do it, and this is what you should expect too. A girl who wants to date will always carve out some week night and weekend time for potential or actual romance. So, don't bother with a girl who says she can't go out with you on a weeknight. What do you think will happen if you start dating her? A lot of nothing, most likely. Remember, weekends are sacred. You use them to catch up with valuable family, friends, connections. You also use them to finish your projects, errands or do a side gig for extra money. As such, someone you barely know should not be allowed even a second of that time. Make it weeknight coffee, tea, drinks or a small snack and thank your lucky stars you didn't risk your precious Saturday night on a lord-knows-what-will-happen first date.
So there we go, gentlemen- a few rules that may or may not be familiar to you- rules that are a response to the rapidly evolving world around us. Hope it helps :)